BJNart - Memo: Please Be Advised, There Is No Complaint Department Available

Yea, so here I am in Mozambique. "Mozambique you say!?!" Yes. Mozambique. What a ride this place they call Africa has been thus far. Oh the stories I can tell. Well, if I had the time that is. This is in fact the first time I have been able to get on a functional computer in some time now, so I will take this opportunity to say that life is grand. Oh how sweet it is.

So, listen to this. I met this guy, Graham, when I went out to dinner my second night in Swaziland that manages this hotel (or so he said) in Swazi. So as my days in Swazi were coming to an end, I decided to give him a call before heading back
to South Africa (boooo kinda...not that impressed with it cause of all the crime and rape and whatnot...not impressed is an understatement I guess you could say.) He had told me a good hotel manager would never turn someone down if they had empty rooms, no matter the price. So I figured I would call him and offer him 100 Rand (ten pounds) and see what he says. He ends up telling me to come down to the Royal Swazi Villas and he has a room waiting for me, no questions asked! Without me even offering any money at all! Amazing. So, he proceeds to send a car for me, and before I know it I am staying in the King´s suite, in the largest villa on the property, all to myself, sleeping in the same bed, I might add, that the King of Zulu sleeps in when he visits Swazi. This is in fact that largest hotel resort in Swazi...owned by the King of Swaziland. It isn´t a hotel by any means though, it is a collection of 6-8000 square foot mansions rented as private villas to the rediculously wealthly or royalty. This was fucking unbelievable to say the least. And yes, I did have a bath robe and jet power jacuzzi in my bathroom. Fresh fruit you ask? Yes. That too of course. Silly of you to even ask, don´t you think?

Apparently, he told the owners I was the son of the president of the world bank, and that I was a major potential business opportunity...needless to say, everyone was very nice to me. Sorry pops, I guess the son on the President on J. M. Nolan Architects just doesn´t have as much pull. I stayed there for 2 nights and then, as if he hadn't already done enough for me....he hooked me up with a Mozambiquen visa and my plans changed sporadically once again. So, here I am, in Mozambique. Crazy shit huh!?! Yea, I would have to say so.

Plans are now to dive with Whale Sharks tomorrow and then do a bit of surfing on the east African coast of the Indian Ocean. This is just one of the many crazy stories to come out of this Motherland experience. As I said, no complaints here.


B